New Lens!

I finally did it: got a new autofocus lens for the Nikon. Bring on the 50mm 1.4 lens, baby! Too bad they sold the used one YESTERDAY! I wound up having to go with a brand new one, and did decide (with some encouragement from my support crew) to spend the extra money on to get the 1.4 instead of the half as expensive 1.8, but I think I'll be happier with it. I'm loving the bigger aperture and have been messing with settings, focus, autofocus and the flash all afternoon.

I think I might be hooked.

Lord Hill Trail Run

Lord.

Oh LORD.

Jesus H. Christ.

Is that Jesus' middle initial? Because I'm kind of thinking it should be F. As in Lord F*ing Hill.

Today was the Lord Hill Trail Run, in the 4th Dimension Pacific Northwest Trail Running series. All week, I've been down for the count with a cold, and with the demands this week at work, staying home to sleep and get well was not an option. Result? Barely well enough to consider a trail run, let alone what this thing turned out to be.

February Mosaic for 365 Project

Another month on the books! Again, pleased to have only missed one day (which I cheated on and filled in with an extra picture from vacation). And, I have determined which lens I am going to get for the camera!

Here is the month at a glance!

Mexico

 How about a quick rundown of what our vacation was like in Mexico?

Day 1: arrive. eat chips and guac. drink beer. check in. go to beach. eat more chips and guac. drink more beer. drink fruity drinks. drink something in a coconut. eat more chips and guac. go get ready for dinner. go eat delicious dinner. drink margaritas. drink mayan coffees. damn tired. go to bed at 9 pm.

Day 2. sleep in. wake up eventually. eat breakfast. go lay on beach with books. drink beer. eat chips and guac. drink beer. eat lunch. drink tropical drinks. drink beer. eat more chips and guac. more beer. move to pool. drink margaritas. drink beer. drink margaritas. teach bartender to make side cars. teach bartender to make malibu drinks. drink "mistake" versions. get ready and go eat delicious dinner. drink sake with sushi. drink more sake. and more sake. drink after dinner drinks....

Looking

Looking down the darkened hallway, I see the crack of a door, light pouring from it's tiny opening on the bare floor. My own door creaks as I realize I am leaning on the knob as I furtively peer around it's half closed concealment. My bare feet feel the floor; could I stealthily creep down the hallway to investigate? I try to recall the creaks and cracks, sparing a few words to my undetailed memory.

I risk it, feeling the floor beneath my feet, rolling silently and slowly through my toes step by step along the corridor. The light becomes bigger and darkens the dark around me. I hear small nothings in the room, deafened by the sound of my attempted silence, breathing, and thoughts.

More now than before, the curiosity owns me and compels me forward. I know not what I would do or say if discovered; resigned, I realize the truth is my closest ally: curiosity.

What is behind the door? What compels me forward this day, this night?

Outside

I am always on the outside; I keep to the outside.

It's freedom and it's isolation - wanting to be included but staying aloof.

It's a choice and a rejection and I can never be sure which came first and begot the other, or if they are like two sides of the same coin, entwined so completely one could not separate them into their many parts. It must be of many parts because composition is never one thing and another, singularly, rather, always: one thing and many others all interdependent, holding each other up while keeping each other down.

So every time I linger on the edge of something - parties, work events, flickr photo groups and work discussions - I wonder who I'm waiting for permission from, while knowing that it's only me and my dance with rejection ~ staying safe in isolation and pondering the hazard of committing to participation.

January Mosaic for 365 Photo Project

And just a small sense of accomplishment for completing the whole month, despite travel, procrastination, lack of inspiration and even being sick.