Goals - Closing 2011

As a refresher, here were the goals for 2011.

And now, the final review:


Creativity - B+
I can't say enough how amazing the experience with my 365 project was. A leap of blind faith turned into so much more, in ways I wasn't even quite comfortable thinking about. I missed a few days, and by "a few", in some cases I mean "a lot".

The rest of the creativity stuff...didn't do so well. I did cook a few new things, learn a few new techniques, but not like a year's dedication would have meant. I didn't do much writing, and house redecorating didn't happen either.  The 365 project completely carries this goal, which was something I definitely wanted.

Financial - A
Check. I would give it an A+, but the implied investment side of the goal didn't turn out.

Fitness - A
Half Ironman - CHECK.
PRs - actually, looking back, surprisingly, CHECK. 3 PRs for the year. There was some unstated sub context about RUNNING PRs, and I did PR at Bloomsday and take 4 mins off my time, but this fast running thing really didn't pan out this year much, with the focus on the 70.3 and then bailing on the Seattle Half Mara.

Home Related - F
Yeah, this did not happen. New garbage disposal by necessity. Nothing else. I cleaned out my little cubby in the coffee table a couple times, and did reorganize my camera stuff a number of times. This does not count for much.

Miscellany - ?
How can you grade something you didn't write down? Some cool things for the year: I did more classics reading, including Virginia Woolf, Goethe, Jonathan Swift, Ayn Rand and Oscar Wilde. Maybe that had something to do with taking it off my list of goals, but I think it had more to do with accessibility and cheapness (FREE!) on my Kindle.

Overall:
Not bad - and I'm actually really happy with how well I did on most of this stuff.

Archiving - 2011 Books

A good year of reading.

In terms of overall standouts, Small Furry Prayer and Within the Frame are the tops, followed closely by American Gods.

Clearly it was a year of photography, and true as well with the reading. Within the Frame, and David duChemin's philosophy in general speak to the kind of photographer I yearn to be, and in terms of sitting down with a beautiful book full of amazing pictures, beautiful thoughts, and great advice to think about (I have never so savored instructions on exactly how to get lost in a new city), it brought everything together, including the language and the photographs to

Troika

It's taken me 5 months to really sit down and write this. Why? I guess a lot of reasons. When I finished the race, I wasn't sure what to make of it, and then it took me a while to come to terms with that and make something of not being sure what to make of it, if that makes any sense at all.

7 months of training.

365 2011 Reflection

I am staring at my blinking cursor because I have so much to say, and don't know where to start.

Still don't.

Let's try this...

January 1, 2011

January 1, 2011: I'm in the dark. I have the lights off and am trying to take pictures of the Christmas lights so they look "cool and fuzzy". Later, I will find out this is called "bokeh". I have messed with my fancy camera somewhat, but don't know what else to do. It's not doing what I want. The lights aren't fuzzy enough. What is wrong with me that I can't do what everyone else can do? I'm frustrated.

Archiving - Races 2011

Date - Race - Distance - Comment

1/8/11 - Bridle Trails Trail Run - 5 mile - First Bandit Event!

3/6/11 - Lord Hill Trail Run - 5 mile

4/10/11 - Soaring Eagle Trail Run - 5 mile

5/1/11 - Bloomsday - 12K - PR!!

7/9/11 - Clear Lake Triathlon - Sprint Tri - PR!

8/7/11 - Troika Triathlon - Half Ironman - COMPLETE!

8/27/11 - Priest Lake Triathlon - Olympic Tri - PR!

Archiving - Photo Goals 2011

It’s better to fail spectacularly while reaching for the stars than it is to succeed at something we never really wanted in the first place. - David duChamin

I'm starting this page to keep track of what I want to tackle with my photography. I plan to keep adding notes to it as I go, and will probably have to think of some way to track progress on each one of the things I want to be sure to learn.

Last updated 11/21/11

Technicals

• Control aperture: select depth of field on purpose, blur background for effect
• Execute good exposure manually; control exposure for creative effect
• Learn to use and manipulate ISO settings: what it does, why to use, when to use vs. other settings like exposure +/-
• How to take pictures indoors without orange incandescent light tinge
• How to use Aperture Priority setting
• How to use the flash without it washing out everything, being too harsh
• Learn to maximize existing light that is generally not ideal

Composition

• Ability to create interesting and compellingly composed photographs
• Ability to do cool bokeh

Technology

• Define a workflow in Aperture, including organization, rating system, and keyword logic
• Ability to edit photos in Aperture: create effects, filters, black & white, sepia, colorized

Application

• Determine what to replace my broken lens with
• Night star shots
• Night traffic shots
• Get over feeling awkward whipping out my huge camera to take pictures, maybe tackle tripod phobia

Progress Updates:

1/5/11 - already panicking nightly about what to capture for my photo.

1/10/11 - getting bored with indoor light in the evening. Everything is orange. The flash is too harsh, the light too cold and blue.

1/12/11 - not sure about continuing with Flickr. Started posting and logging 365 project with Picasa to make sure I could always access the full file photos for free, and know which ones I used for the project.

1/16/11 - decided I needed a mentor. Started looking. Found some good options.

1/18/11 - submitted my first 365 to the Shutter Sisters photostream. Joining the conversation on Flickr.

2/11 - bought filter for on-camera flash. This rocks and softens things.

2/21/11 - broke out the flashes from Mom's old set up taking photos of her art. LOVE this!

3/6/11 - finally bought new lens: Nikon 50mm 1:1.4 AF - LOVE this!

4/24/11 - beginning to get over big camera phobia. Less weirded out by whipping that bad boy out. People actually are now referring to me and my "cameras". Definitely more comfortable with aperture priority, shutter priority, and learning more about how to control the exposure in the dSLR. Starting to consider running it in full manual mode (although I'm much more comfortable in full manual with the film camera), and am understanding more about what the information the dSLR presents in the viewfinder means and how to use it.

________

11/21/11 - wow. wow, wow, wow. So much to say. I came to post ideas. 

Change

How many times have I callously, daringly, seriously joked about volunteering for a severance package to get away from corporate America, dive into my own dreams or even look for another angle on the corporate package?

Now the news comes that yes, there will be a merger. Is it a merger? A buy out? Apparently we were bought. I don't know what it means - there are regulatory hurdles, monopoly accusations to assuage, red tape, bureaucracy and negotiations between now and that eventuality, but the invisible ink on the walls is become much more clear.

I'm off to Tampa tomorrow, to meet with my team and leadership - separate, and awkward but potentially fortuitous timing - it feels odd to pack knowing there is a 12 month timeline on "life as we know it", knowing that life as we know it has already ended. Annual goals about issue management and issue SLA suddenly seem out of focus...

Having jumped online and read the news, logged into my webmail and read the communications from our CEO, it is not a done deal, but the hit is done. The perspective has changed; there will be other changes - we just don't know when.

I sit here, rather stunned. The news is the news - and I grasp at what it means: to me, to our life, to my team. I wonder about the job market; I wonder about the job market with 30, 000 of us hitting it at the same time. I wonder who will be kept and why. I jump to the worst conclusion - corporate nepotism knows no bounds.

Our CEO encourages us to leverage the corporate values as we continue to provide excellent service but don't we all know how futile it is to expect people who are scared and willing to do whatever they have to in order to protect themselves to abide by some higher value, especially something imposed by a "government" that has little loyalty to them. Obviously. Little loyalty.

Change.

My Boy reaches in the cabinet, pulling out a wishbone. "It's probably a good time for this," he says. As I reach for it, I realize I don't know what to wish for. To keep my job? Is that really what I want? For everything to turn out ok? What is that anyway?

We put the wishbone away. I will wish when I know what I want.

For now?

The unknown; change.

Fearless

I set out nicely, with my camera in hand, new lens affixed firmly, in a quest for bokeh (a cool effect with lights turning to fuzzy dots in - typically - the background of a photo). It's dark, here in Atlanta, at 9:00 pm, but near a shopping area, and in a hotel, I thought this might be the perfect opportunity to stalk and capture elusive bokeh - at least thus far elusive to me.

January Mosaic for 365 Photo Project

And just a small sense of accomplishment for completing the whole month, despite travel, procrastination, lack of inspiration and even being sick.

Back

It is time to get back to it - life, the real world, real expectations.

The holidays are over and slammed right into January. It's a rude awakening, and I'm trying not to be rude while dealing with others and dealing with myself.

It's tough - having thoroughly enjoyed my 3 weeks without work, into a holiday week and then an in between holiday week where no one in their right mind expected any work to be done. The training season was over and I found myself opening a beer at 2 pm just because I could and enjoying consecutive bottles clear through whenever I decided I wanted to go to bed. I reminded myself to enjoy, rather than succumb to the guilt I feel at neglecting my routine, of going soft and losing what athletic edge I labored so hard for over the prior months.

I am getting better. I have experienced the ability to get back on the horse, to come back from time off. I've learned to lose the weight and to get back to self discipline. And, more than that, I'm realizing this year that I have learned to start to enjoy that too. Getting my legs pumping is fueling me to get them pumping more, rather than comparing to what I "lost". I've learned enough to know that by taking this time, mentally and physically, I'll be more ready to go - and I'll go farther (faster).

The most wonderful thing, as I have discovered over and over, is the exponential effect of my training. All of the things I do, when done "together", become so much more than they are independently. Taking the time off dedicated to doing these other things and enjoying beer at 2 pm actually helps me enjoy the things I'm taking the time off for. Maybe that sounded obvious, or redundant, but the experience is anything but.

I'm still a bit grouchy with demands - particularly at work where there is more external pressure than internal - but I'm getting better at that too.

Maybe.

2011 Goals

Creativity

365 – the concept: take a photo every day. Why? Because the best way to learn is to do it every day. Get in the habit of looking for photo ops, practice and improve workflow ideas, learn my cameras, deal with crappy lighting, no ideas, etc. Learn my tools – Aperture, Flickr, Picasa, social support, file organization and strategy. Be more committed. This is the ultimate in commitment. You will see these in my 365 Project photostream (more to come on that)

Keep blogging. Keep adding drawings to the blog. Write more creatively – styles, topics, stories, poems. Friday Fiction? There’s an idea. Maybe add some readers, re-engage some others.

Do some house redecorating. Imagine what we want. Go find it. Make it so.

Try new places, new beers, new vacations, new parties, new concerts, cook new recipes, learn new techniques. Discover.

Be courageous.

Financial

Save, save, save! And get around to investing what we save. That’s not very measurable. Let’s say “overdouble what we did last year”. That should cover it.

Fitness

This is it! The year I do a half Ironman. 70.3 miles, all in one shot: 1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike ride, and a half marathon. Yikes and YAY!

Oh yeah, and I almost forgot. Run faster. Reach that next target, PR some races.

Home related

Hardwoods – we’ve been dreaming about this for years. We were about to do it just before the economy tanked and my company quit paying bonuses. Now, we can!

Closet clean-out – why? Because closets can always be cleaned out and improved. We’ll improve the Boy’s closet for sure, clean out stuff from the other ones, too.

Kitchen upgrades – sink, garbage disposal, dishwasher…

Garage revamp – I never thought we’d be a 3 car family, but here we are. The least we can do is get all the cars in our allotted parking spots: 2 in the garage and one in the driveway. It means cleaning out the garage, reorganizing, maybe painting and treating the floor, and getting another car in there.

Redecorate – yeah yeah, I know I’m double dipping on this one, but it does count under both, and for valid reasons!

Miscellany

There are some goals I’m neglecting…you may notice (if you’ve been reading a while) that I don’t have my “reading” goal and that I’m a lot less specific. I’ll say – I’m focusing on a few areas. I feel almost obligated to have some of these, but even now, as I write this, my heart’s not in it. My heart is in my dreaming goals, my 365, my creativity. I think this will breathe life into everything and force me to keep that focus, even when breathing is hard, as we all know it can be at certain times.

My 3 weeks of time off really gave me that opportunity to unwind, and be left to my own devices. They went creative on me, and I have to take a hint from that. Sure enough, back to work, and I start doubting all my urges, all my passion (especially since it was the “off season” for racing). I can’t live this way. That is what these goals are about this year.

Books 2010

• American Gods, Neil Gaiman
• Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (again, do re-reads count?)
• Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (do re-reads count?)
• Good Omens, Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
• Catfish & Mandala, Andrew Pham
• SuperFreakonomics, Stephen Leavitt
• Over the Edge, Michael Bane
• The Piano Teacher, Janice Y. K. Lee
• The Book of Eleanor: A Novel of Eleanor of Acquitaine, Pamela Kaufman
• Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte
• Anansi Boys, Neil Gaiman
• Born To Run, Christopher McDougall
• Freakonomics, Stephen Leavitt
• Passage to Juneau, Jonathan Raban

By far, the best fiction books were Jane Eyre, Anansi Boys, Catfish and Mandala and American Gods. Anansi Boys renewed my love of reading, Jane Eyre had me waking up expecting to be in a field of heather, disoriented to find myself in my own bed. Catfish and Mandala made me see the world differently, through slanty eyes, from a bicycle, where one race more racist toward themselves than those of other colors...and yet find a beauty one can only find through introspection and being utterly alone to reflect on everything a person could live through.

I have to give a huge credit also to Born to Run, which brought my running together and helped me figure out how to DO all the things I knew I should be doing, and finally, how to find the love in running that I have been chasing all these years I dreamed of running.

I shouldn’t be shocked at the magic of books, but listing them out that way...books change lives.